Perfect Dishes Completely Ruined By Hipsters
If you put on lipstick to look your best at a fancy dinner, you may be in for an unpleasant surprise: this dessert, which is a berry sorbet that comes in a lipstick. Are you supposed to paint your lips with food?
We know that nature inspired plates are a thing but don't you think that they took this too far? Not even putting your meal on a plate but in a piece of a tree? A lodge slice on the table? I'm paying for this.
In his shoes
So we have seen a lot of hipster presentations in the past but I'm not sure I have ever seen them go as far as using a slipper as a bread basket: not only this is not cool, it seems dirty. Would you eat out of this?
Nachos in their package
One thing is trying to be original in plate presentations, but hipsters have taken this minimalism stuff way too far: if I wanted to eat nachos straight out of the package I would go to the supermarket, not to your restaurant.
A piece of wood with absolutely no paint on it does not seem very hygienic to put food on: especially if they are serving pancakes and syrup that will make the wood sticky. Someone needs to stop hipsters as soon as possible.
Hipsters and skateboards go together like two peas in a pot: we all know that that's the way the like to ride. However, they have definitely taken their love too far by serving food on a wheeless skateboard on the table. I don't even know how they wash this.
Hipsters like to go at molecular cuisine so it is no surprise that they have turned wasabi into a sponge and serve it as real food. We are cool up to that point but was it really necessary to serve this on a tree branch? Couldn't you have used a plate?
Well, if you are trying to find the hipster plate where this spaghetti party was served on to complain about how hipsters have taken things too far, search no more and look no further: they are so beyond regular plates that they didn't use any plates at all. Yes, that was served on the table.
Have you ever seen one of those desk organizers at Ikea and wonder in case you bought one how much would you end up using it in real life? Well, if you don't use them for your office supplies like these people did. That's if you don't care about decency or civilization at all.
We have seen drinks served on light bulbs, mason jars and any kind of ridiculous and extravagant places that are not glasses for a few years now but just when you thought that hipsters couldn't take this any further they served a drink in a tiny bathtub for no reason.
The light bulbs as glasses and bowl replacements are back, you guys, and there is nothing we can seem to do to stop this madness: not only hipsters have been using them to serve drinks on for years, but now they also can contain yogurt, shakes, and bubble tea of any flavor.
We are not flowers
Imagine going to a restaurant and asking for a glass of water, but the waiter decided to quench your thirst by bringing you a whole jar. You would be very excited about this courtesy act, wouldn't you? Well, probably not if they brought you water in a watering can as if you were a plant.
I can only imagine a restaurant kitchen filled with A-class hipsters wondering where to put bread in on opening night since someone forgot to buy bread baskets: don't worry, we will find a way, how about using a dirty used cap to put bread that we intend people to eat there?
This is way too much for any decent person who is willing to pay good money to eat out: if they bring you food, whatever kind of food you order, placed in cleaning supplies, that's your queue to get out of there.
Is there anything more hipster than serving a meal on an Ipad? This is not even a piece of glass imitating an Ipad, this is a true expensive one. How much do you think that meal costs?
If you like your meat well done, this is probably a plate that you will never receive: they tried to be creative and serve some bleeding meat on a saw, but this is dangerous and rusty as hell.
If I ask for a cup of coffee at a restaurant, I assume that I'm making a rather simple request that doesn't take so much work. Why would you serve it like this? Why make things so complicated?
Thank you for being so original and beyond rules, you frickin hipsters: I just wanted my onion rings on a plate, not on some rusty unexplainable pipes on my table. And you brought so few of them!
Brush your teeth
We all love someone who cares about our dental health and remind us the importance of brushing, but that's not what I expect when I go to a restaurant: I don't want to brush my teeth with food.
It’s a trap
Cheese and grapes served together are often a symbol of a classy place but having these served on a real mousetrap doesn't make this look appealing at all. How do I know they have been never used?
When you think about a good old-fashioned American breakfast you probably think of pancakes, sausages, bacon, eggs and some toast: not fireworks and flags. Take a chill pill, guys.
Hipsters will try to bring a new meaning to every little ornament and make this look like a creative thing: why would you put a pickle inside a Russian doll? This is made of wood, it will smell forever.
If you thought that drinks on a light bulb were too much to handle this will blow your mind: someone decided to serve a drink inside a fresh cut pepper. Why would you do this? This is not cool.
Cake to go
Can you imagine a less comfortable way to eat a piece of cake and have some iced coffee than this one? I can't. Hipsters, try to be less creative and a bit more down to Earth. We will buy you more.
Lego pieces can build basically anything you set your imagination to do, but this bread basket made out of them seems like a lousy excuse since you forgot to buy real baskets before your opening.
If lego pieces and used caps are not your cup of tea, how about getting the bread out of a purse instead of a basket? The worst part is that this purse is so hideous this is basically all that is good for.
Marble is usually used in very fancy tables, but if you are not wealthy enough to afford a whole table you can buy a piece and use it as a plate. Seriously, nobody will be able to tell. We are all idiots.
Can't you tell that there is nothing creative about serving food on a rock and admit once and for all that this is just lazy and cheap on your side? Would you pay for a meal that is served on a rock?
Why not serve a meal on a shovel to remind you while you eat that you should always keep your driveway clean from snow? The worst part is that the shovel is rusty, they didn't even bother to buy a new one.
This is as terrible as nachos served straight from the package: why would you charge someone to eat sardines straight out of the can? They can buy that in the supermarket, did you know that?
If you want something simple like a refreshing beverage and a slice of pizza you probably wish to at least get the pizza on a disposable carton plate or a napkin: no, that would be just too clean.
Coffee inside an avocado
Haven't you seen tons of pictures of avocados filled with coffee? There is absolutely nothing right about this: they don't even go together, it is impossible to drink from it without spilling, nope. We are not buying.
This is simply disgusting: a teeth mold that is recycled as a food serving device. I don't know whose teeth are those and please don't take it personally, but I would rather starve to death than eat this.
Ok, this is not only stupid, disgusting and tacky: this is cruel. Why would you serve water with a goldfish inside? That's not big enough for it to swim in and are you trying to get people confused?
This plate by hipsters is so boring that even the food on it decided to go to sleep. What could be cute or original about serving food on a tiny bed that doesn't even look good? Not working for me.
Can you imagine having a simple hamburger served on a huge piece of luggage that takes up most of the table you are sitting on and does not even allow you to see your date? Why do this?
If you are too lazy to wash all your restaurant dishes you can always avoid them and just serve stuff on top of a piece of cloth for no reason. Then put it in the washing machine and forget about it.
If I wanted to cook I would eat at home for free, with food I have already paid for in the supermarket: If I go to a restaurant I expect that someone at least cooks my meal and puts it on a plate.
A fruit salad may come in different places: a bowl, a mason jar, a cup but you would probably have never imagined it coming piece by piece in a plastic tree. Are you really charging people for this?
If you wanted to buy a stuffed donut, you would expect it to come already stuffed with filling but no, hipsters like to have you doing their job for them, so they give you all the fun. I mean, the work.
I don't know what upsets me the most: that they put this ridiculous piece of curly silver wire to put strawberries on, or the fact that they only served five of them after all this production. So stupid.
Hope you are not hungry because apparently your whole meal is supposed to fit in a spoon: even for an appetizer this is way too small. How much would you pay for this? A penny? Fifty cents?
Why not serve a cream and fruit dessert inside a plastic clear rain boot that doesn't only make this uncomfortable but also ugly as hell? How are you even supposed to get to the bottom of it?
A real tire can be a great plate to serve pizza on according to hipsters. For us, it just seems like the most uncomfortable way to eat from, but we might be too old for this stuff. They are beyond us.
Not only it offends me to have fried chicken served inside a sandal, but also the fact that they seem to have chosen the ugliest one in the world for this purpose. Really, they are awful.
Do you remember that final Breaking Bad scene when Jesse finally tells Mr. White to do things himself? Well, this hot chocolate reminds us of this too. Do you want it? Do it yourself.
If it's a rainy day, you don't have to let go your dreams of having a picnic: just find a hipster restaurant that will consider brilliant the idea of putting a tiny wooden table on top of the real table.
Serving fried rolls inside an iron seems stupid and it really is: we were trying to find a meaning or purpose to this but there does not seem to be any: this is just really dumb.
I can understand having something served inside a mason jar, but I don't see the point of serving it in a jar that is lying down: it doesn't make it any easier to access the food and it does not even look good.
Hipsters have done a lot of damage to cooking, but we have to admit that we would definitely try this noodle bread on a hamburger: this one could actually work and be yummy.